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Fever of Unknown Origin
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     The Scent of Lightning
     A Little Tenderness
     Smoke
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Smoke


The wind shifts. Smoke from a distant wildfire calls me out of sleep.
Memories of other fires: camping trip, red brick fireplace, pinon incense
come to me first. Before I remember the explosion years ago, 
the sky over Century Hall lit with orange flame, black soot rising like angry bees.

Memories of other fires: camping trip, red brick fireplace, pinon incense,
the fires of my personal mythology, until that night in April, 1988,
the sky over Century Hall lit with orange flame, black soot rising like angry bees.
I ran towards it, thinking there'd be something I could save.

The fires of my personal mythology, until that night in April, 1988,
hadn't included this particular form of psychosis, a bomb set by a businessman.
I ran towards it, thinking there'd be something I could save --
billing records, session notes, pillows, toys, the ribs and skin of my work 

hadn't included this particular form of psychosis, a bomb set by a businessman.
"You have to let me through," I begged an unmovable fireman.
Billing records, session notes, pillows, toys, the ribs and skin of my work,
he couldn't hear them, as I could, screaming through the smoke and flames.

"You have to let me through," I begged an unmovable fireman,
until Chris turned me around, and said, "No." and "Stop now."
He couldn't hear them, as I could, screaming through the smoke and flames.
Neither of us understood the earthquake of my sobs.

Until Chris turned me around, and said, "No." and "Stop now,"
I hadn't seen it, what the work had been, until Chris.
Neither of us understood the earthquake of my sobs,
the alchemy of heat and air and fuel required to clear a space 

I hadn't seen it, what the work had been, until Chris
came to me first, before I remembered the explosion years ago, 
alchemy of heat and air and fuel required to clear a space.
The wind shifts. Smoke from a distant wildfire, calls me out of sleep.